Goal setting expert explains real success lies in life plans, not in making resolutions.

“You can forget about making New Year’s Resolutions if you’re hoping for a successful outcome. Most aren’t worth the paper they’re written on,” says Vic Johnson, a leading goal setting and motivation expert.

Most New Year’s Resolutions have gone by the wayside before January is over and most won’t even be remembered six months later. And the reason is pretty simple. Most are made in response to something negative; a habit or situation that the person wants to change or end. And therein lies the problem - it’s hard to develop momentum from a negative response. It is always easier to move toward something than away from something.

Consider one of the most adopted goals — weight loss. No one can get excited about losing weight - it requires deprivation. It’s a negative response to concerns about appearance, health, etc. The results of weight loss New Year’s Resolutions demonstrate their weakness. A survey sponsored by Gardenburger found that more than three-fourths of all women between the ages of 25 and 54 make diet and weight-loss plans each year. Nearly nine of 10 respondents reported only occasional or no success, while almost half lost little or actually gained weight instead.

“The people who succeed at losing weight and maintaining the loss have usually been motivated by a dream much bigger and more positive than just losing weight,” explains Johnson. “They see themselves living a healthy lifestyle. They begin to act and think like people who are in good physical shape. There’s more of a radical change in a person’s thinking and actions than you see with most resolutions. It wouldn’t be possible to effect and sustain such a radical change unless the person is motivated by a big dream that is positive in nature.”

Another popular aim is to quit smoking. Johnson himself was a three-pack-a-day smoker until he celebrated a smoke-free New Year’s sixteen years ago. “For over twenty years I had tried to quit many times using every tool and technique I’d hear about. But as long as I was trying to quit, I couldn’t break the grip. Instead, I developed a dream to become a non-smoker. I fell in love with the idea of breathing clean air instead of smoky air, of my body and clothes smelling nice instead of smoky. I thought about how wonderful it would be to taste food again. I decided to start acting and thinking like a non-smoker, and when the thinking took hold I simply quit smoking. In all the years since, I’ve never wanted another cigarette, never even thought about wanting one.”

According to Johnson, the best goal to set is one that calls for the individual to create a plan for their life based on a set of personal dreams. “Most people are in a free-fall through life, careening from one crisis to the next. If you were going to build a new house and you had this idea for a fabulous master bedroom suite, you wouldn’t rush out and start building the master bedroom. You’d have a complete plan before you started. When you approach resolutions and goals in the same manner, you end up with a much better chance of achieving success.”

To set your goals please remember the three components of commitment: Will, Determination, and Focus. Without these your New Years resolution will end as soon as it starts.

Have a Happy New Year and stay healthy and fit in 2010.

Carjackings are on the rise as a crime strategy. Why? They provide the criminal with relatively easy and undetectable approach and, the criminal’s following car provides a quick and viable escape resource.

Officer Benjamin Kelly: The mindset to win a split-second confrontation

Maurice Clemmons’ body was probably still warm when I started getting text messages and e-mails from my friends in the Seattle/Tacoma area early Monday morning. The manhunt was over. The mainstream media reported that a “routine stolen vehicle check” had led to the righteous shooting death of Clemmons by Seattle Police Department’s Officer Benjamin L. Kelly, a five-year veteran assigned to the South Precinct. The Seattle Times wrote that Kelly is “fortunate to be alive.”

Police work at the scene where a man suspected of gunning down four police officers was shot and killed by a lone Seattle patrol officer who came across the stolen car in a south Seattle neighborhood about 2:45 a.m. (AP Photo)

Related Articles: Lone Seattle officer fatally shoots suspect in officers’ deathsAre police officers in the United States at war?Ambush in Lakewood: God bless these fallen peacekeepersWhen insanity rules and ‘understanding’ trumps condemnation Related Resources: How to donate to the families of the fallen Lakewood, Wash. police officersIn-depth coverage of the ambush on Wash. police officers Related content sponsored by:

I beg to differ. I believe Officer Kelly is alive because he trusted his instincts, employed his training, and had the mindset to win that split-second confrontation with Clemmons instead of becoming Clemmons’ fifth law enforcement victim.

The two-day manhunt involved hundreds of cops, including numerous SWAT teams going door-to-door looking for Clemmons and those who aided him in fleeing authorities. It ended the way so many high-profile cases do, with the actions of single patrol officer doing good police work. Working the night shift, Officer Kelly observed a 1990 Acura on the street with the hood up and the engine running. Kelly ran the plate and discovered that the car had been reported stolen only about two hours earlier and just a few blocks away. As he sat in his car filling out the report, he noticed a male approaching the driver’s side of the patrol car from behind. Kelly immediately exited his vehicle, recognized Clemmons and began issuing orders. When Clemmons didn’t comply and reached into his waistband, Kelly fired several shots, striking the cop-killer twice. Clemmons was pronounced dead on the scene a short while later.

Off-the-record comments from Sea/Tac-area cops leave no doubt that Maurice Clemmons intended to assassinate Officer Kelly in the same manner he gunned down the “Lakewood Four” two days earlier. It’s safe to say that the car was a trap, but Ben Kelly didn’t fall into the trap.

Instead, Ben Kelly ended this one-man war on Washington-area crime-fighters, allowing them to shift their focus to grieving for and honoring Sgt. Mark Renninger and Officers Tina Griswold, Greg Richards, and Ronald Owens. However, the war against law enforcement isn’t over, and some of us believe that it is just getting started.

Thirty-six hours after Clemmons gunned down four officers of the Lakewood police department, local papers started reporting that the police manhunt for Clemmons was causing “unease for black males between the ages of 20 and 50.” Are you kidding me? How about the unease, the sadness, and the terror he caused for American law enforcement officers, especially those in Washington State?

Law-abiding Black males didn’t have anything to worry about, but Maurice Clemmons sure did.

And if Clemmons had been white, would the media have reported that “white males” had cause to be uneasy? As Dave Smith wrote in an earlier article, “diversity, compassion, and understanding” rule the media in the Seattle area (as in most other regions of this country right now) and we must speak out against the nonsensical political correctness that may cause us to hesitate.

What if Officer Kelly had not reacted so quickly because he was afraid of causing the man he recognized as Maurice Clemmons “unease?”

Now is the time to review our history, to remember the frequent attacks on law enforcement officers in the ’60s and ’70s — when police officers  were seen as “the establishment” and evil-doers who considered themselves revolutionaries were simply bent on terrorizing cops. These maniacs used guns, explosives, and whatever methods they could improvise. They believed that if you weakened the peacekeepers, you weakened the law-abiding citizens and you eventually weakened the status quo. On top of that, we have the phenomena of the “copy cat,” someone who sees the attention given the tragedy and desperately seeks it for themselves. Maurice Clemmons was not a lone actor, he had a great deal of help from friends and family. This was a premeditated act of terror that supersedes the media and family claims that Clemmons was mentally ill, the victim of a lousy childhood, or the product of an unfair justice system.

Now more than ever before we are targets — we are the hunted — but we need to make sure our mindset is always that of the hunter, the warrior, and the protector. Remember the basics of good police work, and if you’re not sure what that means, ask someone older, wiser and more experienced than you. Listen to those who policed thirty or forty years ago, and just like good cops did in the 1970s, read books that help you understand those who oppose us and oppose a free society—books like “The Anarchist’s Cookbook” and “Rules for Radicals.” Get yourself a back up gun, wear your body armor, keep your friends and family informed, and frequently check, maintain, and strengthen your most powerful weapon, your mind.

This is just the beginning.

Sergeant Betsy Smith has nearly 30 years of law enforcement experience and recently retired as a patrol supervisor in a Chicago suburb. A graduate of the Northwestern University Center for Public Safety’s School of Staff and Command, Betsy is a police trainer, author and instructor for the Calibre Press Street Survival Seminar. Visit Betsy’s website at www.femaleforces.com.

Contact Betsy Smith and Follow Betsy on Twitter

The ability to fight through pain is critical to winning a violent encounter

• Richard Nance
• 2009 Apr 13

“Everybody’s got a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth.”
— Mike Tyson

Police officers  should get hit during defensive tactics training. I know administrators everywhere are cringing at the thought of actually having their officers struck “on purpose” during training. After all, we lose enough officers to injury as it is, right? While I can’t argue that contact during training carries with it some inherent risks of injury, when appropriate safety protocol is in place, the pros of training to be hit far outweigh the cons. Officers need to know what its like to get hit. They need to experience the physiological changes in their body after taking a stiff right to the “snot locker.” Overcoming the shock and pain of being hit is critical to winning a violent encounter.

Why is getting hit so important?
Getting hit sucks. From a physical standpoint, it hurts. But, the pain associated with being hit is often ample motivation for the trainee to block or evade the next blow or better yet, to make the “suspect” deal with their strikes. As such, being hit in training teaches officers that a proactive response (aggression) is better than a reactive response (defense). After all, no matter how skilled an officer may be, blocking is no way to gain control of the suspect or the situation. As my karate instructor would say, “If you’re only defending, you’re barely surviving.”  

As hard as it is to believe, there are officers who have never been in a fight in their entire lives. I certainly wouldn’t want the first time someone ever hit me to be when I was on the job. Being hit in training will give “Officer Friendly” a taste of what it’s like to be in a fight. The good news is it’s in a controlled environment where he or she won’t be beaten half to death and disarmed if they screw up.

Even for more experienced officers, being punched in the face can be a hell of a wake up call! Being hit is likely to trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. When this occurs, you typically experience one or more of the following phenomena:

• Increased heart rate
• “Tunnel” vision
• Auditory impairment
• Difficulty reasoning
• Loss of coordination
• Increased strength
• Increased pain tolerance  

These physiological effects of fighting with a suspect can be replicated through realistic force-on-force drills. It’s important for officers to engage in training scenarios that require them to overcome pain. What the officer can do under ideal conditions is irrelevant. An officer has to know what he or she is capable of accomplishing under situations that simulate actual combat.

How to get hit “safely”?
Using officers as punching bags for an overzealous defensive tactics cadre is not an intelligent training technique. There’s more to training to take a hit than standing still and having your teeth knocked out. Not only is this approach likely to needlessly injure officers, it is counter-productive in that it robs officers of their confidence and could lead to them “shutting down” when they get hit for real.

To get the most out of this type of training, both the role-player and trainee should wear appropriate protective gear for the scenario. Assuming the role-player intends to punch the trainee if the face, the role-player would need to wear gloves to protect his hands (and the trainee’s head). The trainee should wear headgear that protects the entire head and is designed for force-on-force training. All headgear is not created equal! Do the research and spend the money for quality headgear. Due to the dynamic nature of force-on-force training, full protective suits are recommended.

The training environment should be checked for any potential safety hazards and any deficiencies corrected. There should be a safety officer who closely monitors the training and is prepared to stop the scenario if necessary. A phrase such as “stop scenario” should be used when anyone observes a potential safety issue.   Of course, if real or simulated weapons are to be used, all protocol must be followed to ensure a live weapon or live round is not accidentally introduced into the training environment.

Keep in mind that training to get hit is not the goal. Training to overcome being hit and win the encounter is the goal. The training evolution should challenge the trainee but never end with the trainee being overwhelmed or defeated. Whether the trainee performs adequately or not, debrief their performance. If the trainee did not meet the minimum standard, have them remediate. Always end this type of training on a high note!

Focus on your objective — not on pain
In his excellent book,  Mindsighting, Mental Toughness Skills for Police Officers in High Stress Situations , Michael J. Asken, Ph.D. points out that self-talk can be a very effective strategy during an acute high stress response. However, he suggests that  “you always phrase your self-talk positively in terms of what you should do, not what you should  not  do. Telling yourself not to do something puts your focus on the very thing you want to  avoid  doing.”   Therefore, instead of telling yourself to not think about the pain of being struck, tell yourself that you will do whatever it takes to win the encounter! 

Reflecting back on the years I studied karate, I vividly recall using  Shinai , a split-shaft bamboo sword, to practice blocking techniques. Although designed specifically not to injure the practitioner, when the  Shinai struck you at full force, you definitely knew you were hit! When the  Shinai was swung at you, you blocked and immediately countered with a combination of strikes and/or kicks to stop the attack. Interestingly, the more aggressively you hit the  Shinai , the less it seemed to hurt. Training with the  Shinai not only improved a student’s blocking ability; it conditioned the student to overcome pain en route to achieving victory. 

“Pain don’t hurt.”
– Dalton (Patrick Swayze’s character in  Road House)

Always have a Plan B and never give up!

TEACHING CHILDREN SAFETY BEFORE MANNERS

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

Talk to your children directly about the kinds of dangers that do exist - bad guest dangers, friend of a friend dangers, dangers of adults asking for help. Remind children that accidental danger risks are higher for them than intentional harm dangers. Teach children, above all, to place their safety above manners and to trust their intuition, their “Spider Sense.”

Talk to your children about the types of lures utilized by child predators - mail lure, lost pet lure, help me lure and directions lure. Teach children how to find a safe place in any situation and how to call and talk to 911.

911 Call Info- name, location, why you need help, leave phone connected.

DID YOU KNOW?

- About 260,000 children are abducted each year. 75% of these are “family abductions,” made by another family member to deprive the caretaker of custodial rights. About 58,000 or 22% are “non-family” abductions usually occurring in connection with another crime.

- Over 50% of non-family abductions occur in the street, from a car, or from a park or wooded area. 45% of the abductors are strangers, 55% are known as friends, neighbors, a baby sitter or person of authority.

- Child predators go after children of all ages - 59% are children 15 to 17 years old, 22% are children 12 to 14 years old. The FBI reports there is a sexual predator for every square mile in the U.S.

- The National Center For Missing and Exploited Children tells us that one in every four girls and one in every seven boys will be

sexually molested before the age of 18.

-Predators view the Internet as a tunnel into the bedroom of your child. One in five children will be sexually solicited while on-line this year.

- Personal safety training with children should be a regular practice around holidays. Parties, families visiting, guests and the distraction of events is the perfect cover for abusive or exploitive situations

with your children.

Teach children above all else to trust their internal alarm.

CHILD SAFETY AND HALLOWEEN

Children love to have fun and Halloween is an exciting time for children. Halloween is a great opportunity to remind children of three primary lifestyle pillars - fitness, healthy eating and personal safety.

Remember, your children will likely be alone when their

safety training skills will be tested.

This holds particularly true at Halloween and other fall holidays.

~ Walk purposefully, communicate calm and confidence. This is a personal safety must and can be taught to children as soon as they begin to walk. Teach children to always be alert to what is going on around them.

~ Choose a Halloween costume that is fireproof and affords full visibility. If the costume includes props of any kind, be sure they are smooth and flexible and do not create a fall or poke hazard. Use reflective tape on wrists or ankles to add sparkle to any costume. Flash lights make a great prop.

~ Look for Halloween events that do not involve a house-to-house Trick or Treat. Times are not what they once were. Most communities, high schools recreation centers and activity programs host great Halloween events. Encourage older children to pass on a house-to-house Trick or Treat.

~ Never Trick or Treat alone. Always Trick or Treat in groups and use a one-to-one buddy system within the group, even for teens. Talk to children and teens before house to house activities about how to maintain their safety. Only Trick or Treat houses with front porch lights on. Always go to the door with your buddy. Never go into a house - even for a moment, be polite but do not allow any person to touch, hold or pick you up.

~ Be careful around pets and other animals. Pets are easily over excited and costumes often spook otherwise calm animals. Be very cautious around animals when in costume and never reach out for them when masked.

~ Cross the street at corners and look both ways before crossing. Remind children and teens to walk away from the edge of bushes and avoid dark spots on streets, at alleyways and anyplace someone could lay in wait. Teach children how to present a personal fence to draw attention and how to say “Stay Back!” or “Leave Me Alone!” Teach children how to “Go Crazy” if they are grabbed or pulled by a predator.

Resources: FBI SMSA, FBI Uniform Crime Reports, U.S. Bureau of Justice

The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children

Warrior Personal Safety Training Programs

www.WarriorPersonalSafety.com

It’s Not What You Are That Holds You Back…

A while back I spoke to a group in Houston and I showed them pictures of some very famous people.

They included Thomas Edison, Cher, Walt Disney, Richard Branson, Jay Leno, Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Turner and my hero Winston Churchill.

Then I asked the audience what they all had in common.

Can you guess?

There were quite a few answers from the audience and they were all wrong. It was only after I pulled out $100 and offered it as a prize that a person in the back overcame his fear of being wrong and volunteered the correct answer….

….they were all dyslexic!

I pointed out that the role that made each of them famous also required a lot of reading. Do you know how hard it is for a dyslexic person to read?

But not a single one of those great people that I cited let dyslexia keep them from being all they were created to be.

That’s why one of my most favorite quotes is, “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.”

Denis Waitley

· Yell, Kick, & Scream - This may seem obvious, but many children freeze when they are grabbed by strangers. Kidnappers want children to go along quietly. Yell - “This person is a stranger!” Kick - kidnapper’s foot, groin, or knee. Scream.

· Area Code & Phone Number - Make sure your child knows your area code and phone number. Does your child know how to make a collect call or dial in case of an emergency? Teach your child not to give your phone number or address to strangers.

· Buddy System - A child alone is an easy target. Encourage your children to use the buddy system and to watch out for each other.

Read the rest of this entry »

To spar or to Compete, has been one of the major topics in karate schools, magazines, and among the parents and practitioners alike. It is at times a cause of much anxiety amongst parents and students.

Competition is only one facet of our multi-faceted art, and arguably its youngest. Sparring too, in its current form is a newer facet of martial arts training. These two elements carry a substantial part in today’s training of the arts. Martial arts competition are the test of the athletic skills that can be developed by a martial artist, and carry only a partial potency of the martial arts techniques – control, safety and limited techniques, being the subduing factors. Read the rest of this entry »